To be open or not?

Have you ever wondered why we interact or behave in a certain manner when we come from different societies? According to Edward Hall's Classic Dimension of Cultures there are high and low context cultures. Let's discuss about Chinese and American culture today.

Chinese culture is considered to be on the extreme end of the spectrum for high context culture. It is described as
-Having restricted codes
-Subtle cues are more important than actual speech
-Silence is integral in communication
-Explict communication style as rude, coarse and insensitive.

Do you ever wonder why there is this comparison between east vs west all the time? Perhaps it just boils down to the way we communicate that acts as an invisible barrier to accepting another culture.

American Culture, on the other hand is deemed as low context culture. It is characterised by
-Use of direct, explicit and unambiguous verbal communciation style
-A form of expression, to calrify and to influence
-Silence means incomprehension
-Indirect communication style is seen as tricky and deceptive

With such juxtaposition we should all be surprised why there is such tension when America and China hold diplomatic talks.

Having said the above, have you wondered where does Singapore stand in this spectrum? I tend to believe we are still a high context culture society because of our deep Asian roots but with American influence through the media we might see ourself as a more open society. Would you like that?Share your views!

Being Singaporean

Having spent most of my life in Singapore i am proud to say that i have gone through the thorough "Singaporean Experience". Being Singaporean to me means enjoying your durians, having that hint of singlish in our slang, and being excited when there are mega sales:) Having this identity is our culture. As Trenholm states, culture is shared and dynamic, and our fledgling nation of 44 years has passed its culture down generations to define who we are in the present day.

In Singapore, we are a fast paced society striving to excel in school or aiming to climb the corporate ladder. It is because of our meritocratic system that people are hardwired to perform, and in our culture, the ability to produce results is highly valued in today's context. Sadly, it means that a lot of our time is spent at work, and our personal time might be compromised.

One phase of my life that defined me as a Singaporean is national service (NS). NS is something that was very unique for me because i got a chance to bond and train with strangers from all walks of life and races. It gave me a new perspective on life, and although cliche it made me feel less of a boy and more a man. Having had the chance to lead others i was exposed to the idea of collectivism, where often teamwork proved to be the key to overcoming challenges. I will always treasure my experiences gained from the army.

But I digress, the bottom line is, Singapore will continue to retain its unique flavour in the years to come. Even if one is abroad, I am sure you will remember your neighbourhood char kway teow, thosai or nasi lemak. You will have some recollection of national day parades and your national anthem. Culture bonds our society together, and how we operate surely defines us as Singaporeans. Share your views!

Relationship woes

Recently, i just watched Sex and the City with my girlfriend, and it dawned on me that the show has a strong message being sent abt relationships.In particular,i would like to highlight the relational dissolution that took place in the show.

4 charismatic individuals in their 40s-50s are portrayed to be in the prime of their life in energetic New York City. They come in the form of writer and bride to be(Carrie), lawyer mom (Miranda), housewife and fitness buff (Charlotte), and last but not least verocious sex guru (Samantha).

The show's centralized plot is actually about Carrie finally marrying her boyfriend after 10 years, and is given a once in a lifetime opportunity to have her fairytale wedding. Unfortunately, at the eleventh hour, Mr. right walks out on her at the aisle. Poor communication skills and aversive communication states were instrumental in the failure of their marriage initially.

Another sub plot in the show is actually Miranda's husband Steve cheating on her. This created a huge rift between husband and wife and becuase they were unable to reconcile initially they chose to seperate.

In our fast paced world, strong values and good communication are instrumental in relational development and management. What do you seek for in your relationships? Share your views!

Managing Relationships

I'm sure many people out in the world are engaged in some form of interpersonal relationship.I'm not an exception too. Communication in relationships is important to individuals because this will allow effective management of their relationship. (DeFluer et al) Let's have an in depth look on the varying types of communication principles in interpersonal relationships.

While in a relationship, it is deemed that face-to-face communication is the richest medium of interaction between a couple.Without face to face communication, it is hard to maintain a steady relationship (e.g. long distance) and i have seen friends' whose relationships were dissolved in army or because they went abroad to study. As we study in communications, this is known as dyadic communication.

Have you ever wondered what makes us attracted to another individual? Is it the person's physical attributes that click with us or their charisma?Under the theory of relational formation and development, there are a few sub categories that the formation of relationships can be categorized into.

They are:
-Physical Appearance
-Similarities (values,preferences,beliefs)
-Complementarities (differences but help the couple function better)
-Exchange (give and take)
-Proximity (less intimidation and uncertainty)
-Reciprocity and liking (self disclosure, mutual love)
-Competency (richer/smarter)

It's quite a load right? Maybe now we can see our personal relationships in a different light:) I know i will. That's all for this week's class review!